“The future is not some place we are going but one we create. The paths are not found but made and the activity of making them changes both the maker and the destination.”
So what’s this blog about anyways??? Well it’s a reflection on a life that is currently being lived by me. It came out of an experience that left me wondering what the heck happened to my control.
When John suddenly became sick our world shifted and I lost my footing. No matter who we are, there are moments that occur in our life that alter the world in which we live. As a means of taking control and using it in a healthy way I decided to reflect and create. I wanted to begin to prepare a foundation of self that could withstand anything that might happen and thus alter the course of my life. I realize this foundation will not prevent things from happening, but it will provide me with a sense of self that will continue to go on.
After my recent experience with a significant change I saw it as means of creating a new normal. When something significant happens (baby, sickness, job loss or gain, death of someone significant…I could go on forever, but you get the idea) and things start to settle down, they never go back to how they were. Something new is created, and in the midst of it all we are provided with an opportunity to grow.
Part of what came out of my new normal was the realization that I wanted to spend some time discovering what really defines who I am. Essentially I wanted to consider what parts of me exist after a life-altering event? What do I need in order to nurture my sense of self in order to continue on? I also wanted to consider what I might have to give up in order to be happy and or grow?
In essence, I renewed my hope and desire in creating a foundation of self that would protect the integrity of my being, my soul, my sense of self that allowed me to believe, dream and function in a world that is filled with good and bad, positive and negative, loss and gains, pain and forgiveness. My foundation of self is about allowing myself the opportunity to create an environment that meets my needs for survival. I learned again that my needs do not have to be given up in order to develop or maintain the needs of someone else. Basically I was reminded that I deserve the property and tools necessary in creating a foundation of self.
When clients come into the program I immediately start asking the questions "Who are you? Who do you want to be? What are your core beliefs and values?" it's amazing how almost all of them have no idea how to answer those questions. My focus with them is rarely about thier addiction issues but more about their 'foundation of self." I just never called it that, but if you don't mind I'm going to steal this quote of yours and make it one of the weekly program themes.
ReplyDeleteKeep 'em coming. I enjoy the read.